Dad Bod Baloney

by Geoff Roberts

In our societies continued pursuit of self destruction, a brand new elite level idiotic notion has come to the forefront. This notion that a “dad bod” is in some way a good thing and/or an effective look for attracting the opposite sex, is just one more example in a long list of modern society betraying all logic in order to justify our laziness and take the edge off our vast insecurities.

In this modern nobody wins, nobody loses, fat is beautiful landscape, glorification of the dad bod should be no surprise. Surprise or no surprise, this notion is plain old incorrect. Nobody prefers a dad bod over an in shape body and every single human being knows it whether they’ll admit it or not.

This is not to say that a person with a skinny-fat physique can not be attractive. Money, charisma, money, humor, money, kindness, money, along with illogical daddy issue attractor’s like beards, felonies, or tattoos can also make someone attractive. That said, nobody is more attractive when fat and out of shape than they are in shape. Obvious you say? Not in our everyone-is-beautiful-in-every-way-imaginable-no-matter-what society. Are there individuals who will claim otherwise and swear up and down they prefer an out of shape body in regards to sexual attractiveness? Of course. The problem is, people say a lot of ridiculous things which they do not actually believe. We humans seem to be highly refined experts at this trick.

First and foremost, all obvious science aside, being skinny-fat quite literally requires zero work and zero physical gifts. Any human being can achieve this by simply being lazy and eating unhealthy food. By definition this look cannot be attractive. Name me one other thing that is considered attractive which requires zero work, zero success, and any human alive can achieve. The irony here is that the very reason why in shape people are attractive is directly related to how poor out of shape individuals look. You can not appreciate sunny days without rainy days.

Being in shape signifies health. These five words alone abruptly end this debate on their own. To say a person who appears unhealthy is more sexually attractive than one who does is, well, stupid. An in shape physique may also signify hard work and responsibility. This is not to say that out of shape people are not hard workers or highly responsible, obviously. However, from a strictly superficial standpoint, these qualities are more apparent in an in shape person. Sexual attraction’s genesis is reproduction. If you would rather reproduce with an unhealthy lazy person than a hard working healthy person, maybe you should just pump the brakes on the entire idea.

Not that it really needs to be said, but given this new sensitive cupcake generation of people, I probably should say it. I have no issue with any person based on how they look and anyone who does is a disturbed individual. On the same token, I do not believe a person must be in shape to be attractive. Not in the slightest. This is an all other things equal perspective. With that nonsense out of the way, if a person is sensitive about fat jokes or skinny jokes, stay away from me forever. Go discuss how “good” of a person you are with all your other fake friends. Last but not least, if a person insists they sexually prefer out of shape partners over in shape ones, join said group of faker friends and lie to yourselves until the cows come home. We’re never going to buy it.