by Geoff Roberts
The concept of out of shape “normal” individuals giving fit, in shape people a hard time about their lifestyle is nothing new. Any person who takes care of him or herself on a daily basis via going to the gym consistently and choosing to include or exclude certain food choices will inevitably harbor a plethora of stories in regards to normal, fat, sick people giving them a hard time about said self-care. I want to attack three of the most common, and most ludicrous for that matter, statements which jealous, lazy individuals love to throw around whilst in the vicinity of exceptionally fit individuals. For the sake of this piece, I will be referring to said statements as fatty fails.
“You have to live a little” is one of the most common fatty fails of all time. This is normally referring to the diet and comes up when a fatty fatty boom boom is eating some cake or other horrendously poor food, and a healthy fit person says no to the cake and instead eats some nuts, salad, and chicken or just has a cup of coffee. Now, in defense of the cake-blower, maybe eating a couple pieces of cake is all that they live for and if they said no to it they would feel as if they are no longer living. If that is truly the case, I just feel bad for those individuals and I hope that they can get some help in the near future. However, what is really happening is this person who refuses to give up even the simplest of things to be healthier is attempting to make it seem as if the fit person is the one who is doing something a bit dark and destructive, while they are simply “living”. The irony that oozes from this notion is downright overwhelming. Let me get this straight. Eating junk food, sitting around getting fat and sick is living, while choosing healthy foods, working out, looking great and feeling great is not. Interesting. Please, for the love of God, stop using this foolish fatty fail.
“It’s not going to kill you” is another classic fatty fail. This one is just pure 100% grade A stupidity. As if fit people avoid junk food because they believe it is going to kill them. Did your fat ass ever think that maybe fit people are avoiding those foods so that they can look good and feel good, or do you really believe they are avoiding them solely to prevent death? If so, you are as stupid as you are fat. In reality, the majority of people who use this line do not believe fit people are afraid to die from eating cake. Rather, they feel insecure and jealous about the fact that they are unable to say no to junk foods, so they have to lash out in an unsuccessful attempt to once again make the healthy individual seem irrational.
“If you stop you will lose it all” is the third and final fatty fail that I will demolish. This one sounds like when you are winning a debate so your adversary starts to short circuit and bring up nonsense which has absolutely nothing to do with the topic at hand. First of all, if you stop anything in the world you will lose at least some of whatever you were pursuing, no matter what it is. This statement is like informing a person who is making tons of money at their job that if they stop the job they will lose the money. Thank you for that stellar advice you professional moron. What is the point here? I must be missing something. Do you go around telling athletes that they should stop their sports because if they do stop at some point they will lose all the skills anyway? Do you see how stupid you sound?
Now, this article was mostly meant to be funny. If my fatty humor offends you then I feel bad for the people who have to spend time around your up-tight self. I struggled with my weight my entire life and I love junk food more than any person I know. I fully and intimately understand the struggle. I have zero issue with a person who chooses to eat loads of junk food and not work out. More power to them. However, if you are going to insinuate that doing so is somehow better than eating healthy and working out, or what’s more, you attempt to make healthy people look nutty, I’m going to call you a moron and vividly display why you are actually just lazy and jealous. So, if you do not like it, I suggest you just eat your cake in silence and allow me to sip my black coffee in peace.