by Craig Titus
This column does not represent the opinions or views of IronMagazine, it’s advertisers or affiliates. Craig’s column is unedited and for entertainment purposes only, read at your own risk.
The Authorities, who have already managed to make a joke of possessing an IFBB Pro card, by creating the Bikini Division, will soon be announcing two new additional physiques divisions in both the IFBB and NPC. These two new divisions were designed to rival, compete and add diversity to an already hysterically diverse federation. Now you to can stand on stage next to some of the greatest NPC and IFBB athletes in the world! Coming soon will be the Wet T-shirt division as well as the Fat Ass division, for both men and women. Just like the bikini Division these two new events will also make a mockery of being an IFBB Pro while raking in millions of dollars. Mind you the financial gain will line the pockets of those running the federations.
While bodybuilders continue to struggle waiting to sign their first endorsement contract…but that’s an entirely different topic. Now the IFBB and NPC can add thousands of ambitions wet T-shirt and Fat Ass athletes to pay for their much coveted membership cards. Although the rules state Bikini division contestants can not compete in both Bikini and Wet T-shirt events in the same competition, they are however allowed to choose between the two divisions at different IFBB and NPC shows throughout the year. Sadly, Fat-Ass Division limiting their freedom to participating in Wet T-shirt or Bikini athletes divisions. This rule is set into place because the judging criteria is significantly different between the Bikini, Wet T-shirt and Fat Ass division athletes, in that Fat Ass contestants will only be judged by the depth of their cracks and the condition of their buttocks. However the judging criteria of both Wet T-shirt and Fat-Ass competitors will be very similar to the Bikini contestants in several ways. Athletes will be awarded extra points for signing endorsement deals with supplement, equipment, apparel and magazine companies where owners are actual judges of their endorsed athletes in competitions. Competitors will be awarded extra points for provocative photos, taken with middle aged high ranking federation officials, NPC and IFBB judges, providing photo’s are published in various bodybuilding magazines. Lastly, competition will most definitely be awarded extra points for flirtations conversation, table dances and or sex favors providing all favors are performed discreetly. Wet T-shirt divisions athletes will be judged by the mass, symmetry and conditioning of their boobs. A tie breaker round will be implemented if necessary with the decision favoring the athlete possessing the perkiest nipples. All T-shirt worn in competitions most be tight fitting manufactured using 100% cotton and only white in color for optimal breast visibility. I think it’s important to point out that much like the bikini divisions, Wet T-shirt and Fat-Ass divisions were created for the sole purpose of raking in millions of dollars by the authorities running the federations. Thousands of men and women will be purchasing their NPC and IFBB membership cards, filling the bank accounts of those in charge, with a total disregard of how it used to be a thing of greatness to obtain a Pro Card in Professional Bodybuilding…the mystique in gone1 it nauseates me to see how many people are IFBB Professionals these days! It’s even more nauseating to think that even through so much money has been generated by ridiculous Bikini division there are literally dozens of professional Bodybuilders both men and women struggling to pay their bills and don’t get me wrong, I absolutely love a dime piece in Bikini…but Professional Bikini athletes in the same show as Professional Bodybuilders? Seriously!! It’s ridiculous, all those involved certainty know its ridiculous, but unlike most, I have no problem voicing the truth. Honestly, it’s so incredibly easy to receive an IFBB Pro Card these days that it’s not entirely necessary for a girl wearing a Bikini to also obtain one. I mean there were 14 Pro cards awarded in men’s bodybuilding at the Nationals alone!! Wow, that’s a lot bodybuilders turning Pro…but at least they’re athlete’s who have achieved greatness through years of hard work, sacrifice second to none and gallons of sweat and tears. And lastly, I read that men’s Physique Division and Women’s Physique Division were both added to this year’s Olympia line up. Do these divisions sound familiar? They certainly do to me. Go online and checkout W.P.I. Women’s Physique International and M.P.I., Men’s Physique International…my federation, my idea!!
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Craig Michael Titus was born in Wyandotte, Michigan on Jan 14, 1967. The eldest of Michael and Sandra Titus’ three children. In high school, Craig wrestled for his school team at 132lbs. After graduation, decided to put on some muscle via weight training. When Craig graduated from high school he was 5’6″ and 140lbs. By the age of 21, he was 5’9″ and 185lbs. Once he started weight training and seeing results, he was hooked. Craig’s first bodybuilding show was the 1988 Houston Bodybuilding Championships in which he won the Men’s Open middleweight class and the overall title.
2002 Mr. Olympia – 11th
2002 Night of Champions XIV – 5th
2002 Southwest Pro – 7th
2001 British Grand Prix – 9th
2001 Mr. Olympia – 12th
2001 Arnold Classic – 6th
2001 SAN FRANCISCO GRAND PRIX – 2nd
2001 IRONMAN PRO INVITATIONAL – 5th
2000 Toronto Pro – 1st
2000 Arnold Classic – 10th
2000 Night of Champions – 11th
2000 Ironman Pro Invitational – 8th
1996 NPC USA Championships — 1st Heavyweight and Overall
1995 NPC USA Championships — 2nd Heavyweight
1994 NPC National Championships — 2nd Heavyweight
1994 NPC USA Championships — 2nd Heavyweight
1993 NPC USA Championships — 4th Heavyweight
1991 NPC Ironman/Ironmaiden — Overall
1990 NPC Tournament of Champions — 3rd Heavyweight
1990 NPC Western Cup — Overall
1989 NPC Houston Bodybuilding Championships — Overall